Avoiding bad cruisers

The Independent Cruiser operates on the fringe of the herd, and sometimes that means interacting with those who seemingly came on the cruise with the explicit intention to ruin our vacations. Well, probably not, but we've had plenty of occasions where their effect was the same. These bad cruisers must be avoided! Here are the archtypes:

Bus 1 people

This is a Princess term, invented by our Australian friends Camron and Richard, but it applies to a certain type of personality that can be found on every cruise line. What they noticed was that although Princess would send out as many as 10-20 busses on any given tour, all seeing the same sites, that some folks weren't happy unless they got to be on the first bus, bus 1. They will get up very early to accomplish this feat, eschewing the regular breakfast service to have the early breakfast service, and head straight to the waiting lounge to exhange their tour tickets for the prized bus 1 sticker!

Yes, the busses all go to the same places, and sometimes bus 1 is not even the first to depart, or the first to arrive at a photo op (and that drives these people nuts!), but they wouldn't have it any other way. What drives them is super competitiveness. Bus 1 has to be better than bus 2, right?

These folks also suffer from checklist syndrome -- the need to be able to say to their friends and co-workers that they have been everywhere, and done everything. Remarkably, these people often fail to see much at all. The bus will stop at a monument, they will get out, sniff the air, perhaps snap a photo, and get right back on the bus before someone steals their seat! And then they will wait, annoyed, while the bus refills. At the end of the day, they have their checklist of the things they saw, and their precious sticker, and that is about all. No memories of good times had, or people met, or anything really...

Bus 1 people lead the herd to be sure, so when we see one (their stickers on their shirts will say something like E1, where E is the tour designation, and "1" is the bus number), we make sure we are going in the other direction. You don't want to get trampled at tea time.

Wet Blankets, Whiners and Chronic Complainers

Cruise Line staff are not perfect, and things regularly go wrong. The Independent Cruiser is among those who will complain appropriately and succinctly to the proper authority when something needs fixing. But there are cruisers who take this to a whole new level, and they are to be avoided completely.

Their goal seems to be to show that their standards are well above everyone else. When you hear someone say: "when I was on Celebrity, they did X, and here they do Y", we are wary. This may be a legitimate comparison, told to us for our amusement, or information, but often it is intended to start a bitch session about the cruise we are presently on. What happens when the herd gets involved? Well, cruise ships have turned around and gone back to port due to a herd of passengers who are upset, usually about the spread of norovirus, and work each other into a frenzy.

Worshiping at the space age plastic bathroom alter seems an entirely legitimate thing to bitch about to us, but blaming the cruise line for failing to sanitize your own hands before and after (if you intend to eat with your hands) you use the buffet strikes us as just a bit hypocritical. Strangely, it seems to have become standard cruiseship med office protocol to tell a patient they have food poisoning rather than a potentially communicable virus (See Dawn Princess Review). Why would a cruise line rather have you think they poisoned you than that you failed to wash your hands? They fear the crowd frenzy mentioned above, and norovirus is such a well-publicized item at the moment.

At any rate, we digress. Wet blankets complain about plenty of other things that don't involve bathroom antics. If the ship is rocking due to force 8 winds, they accuse the captain of....something... We're never quite sure why the captain has much control over this as his course and equipment to negotiate said course are preordained. This is a little like our daughter complaining that we used to spin the car on the Teacups ride at Dinseyland when she was very young. OK, we did, one of us anyway. And I suppose a reckless captain could forget to put out the stablizers or whatever, and cause excess rocking, but how often does that really occur. Not often, we would assume.

Of course, cruise ship food is a favorite topic of disfavor. It's not hot enough, it's too spicy, it's not big enough, it's too much, it's flavorless, it's......awful...we have heard it all. And sometimes, the food isn't very good, especially on older ships, and at the buffet. But the food is often remarkably good considering their constraints of much less than fresh daily meats, fish, vegetables, and other ingredients, and the sheer number of passengers served each day. For the most part, it's pretty good, and getting better. Yet there is always one cruiser we meet, who just can't stop complaining about the food.

The service is another hot button. And this brings us to the subject of tipping. The Independent Cruiser tips, and tips well, because we bother to talk to the crew about thir personal lives, just as we talk to those of other cultures while in port, and we know how difficult their life is, how hard they work, and for the most part, how pleasantly and efficiently they perform their jobs. Would you clean anyone's bedroom and bathroom twice a day for $7 (standard $3.50pp daily tip times two)? If you are going to rip the service people on a ship, you better have an airtight case. And before you fail to adequately tip a waiter or cabin steward, you should think very carefully about how much money you are paid for doing a hell of a lot less!

Anyway, we have seen cruisers eliminate the tips from their accounts, and then fail to show up on the last night of dinner, after 13 nights of full service, just to stiff the waiters (and not have to face the music). Why? Because we were offered another lobster, and they were not. Never mind they didn't eat the first one entirely, and admitted they would have turned down such an offer, as they were small eaters. And shame on us for not seeing through these people, and shunning them, so that maybe they would have left a lot sooner, and at least saved our poor waiter some work!

Look for cruisers who are having a good time, and spend your time with them. These naysayers deserve a vacation in isolation, or as parents say, a long, long timeout!

Takers

There are cheapskates -- and we consider ourseleves to be pretty frugal -- and then there are "Takers". We have to know the difference. Some cruisers have spent every dime getting on the ship, and just can't spend much more. Others just pretend that is the case. But a taker is always stalking, always wary, and ready to lift those last dozen meringue cookies before you get your mitts on even one! Actually, that would be a "pig". We have seen them too. Those long, loose-fitting smocks with the big pockets are perfect for saving a plate of cookies for "later".

Anyway, since the Independent Cruiser is a joiner We sometimes get taken in by the Taker archtype, buying drinks, inviting them to parties, sharing cars, etc., until we suddenly realize that all the giving and all of the taking is in one direction. Unfortunately, all we can do is be alert, as these types have a way with infiltration.


Fortunately, we have met far more great people on cruises -- and not just in the Independent Cruise category -- then we have met of the types above. We have made great friends on cruises, and making new friends is one of the best parts of cruising. Just watch out...